2 year old turns three [05 Oct 2004|11:05pm] [ mood | determined ] [ music | Sad happenings ] Alexandria Asks what I would like to draw I drew all I saw Where's the flake I thought I saw? I noticed its disappearance! I need black I need blue I need black black I need blue And I need another blue when you're finished Could you squeeze this please? Pretend that there's a final way to part and start over come over tomorrow, forget the storms that left with you I invite them in like a child maybe our love was written with chalk Here we go, phrase one, "I Love You" Back tracking never felt so good pee on me

[05 Oct 2004|11:03pm] I can't help but to stare they make life look so easy when they're saving face pee on me

[29 Feb 2004|06:58pm] March 7th @ midnight @ the echo(1822 Sunset Blvd.)....Shiny Toy Guns WE ARE THE PILOTS, so BAM! Be there all my children! <1 <2 <3 <4 2 golden showers| pee on me

[29 Feb 2004|06:51pm] I totally forgot about this site. Lets say a healthier well-being has begun. feelsgreatBAMChiliFries!!! update:i'm not sad, i'm not emotional, i don't miss anyone, i don't wish I were in a different place in my life......acually i'm doing well for myself... I would suggest the same for all of you. It's much better. 2 golden showers| pee on me

I miss you.....cause you were important to me.....not cause you were good for me [24 Jan 2004|01:05am] I have a hard time forgetting people even when I feel like I should.I have a hard time letting go and a hard time holding on all at once. I guess there wasn't enough importance to time out a clever goodbye. Just vague statement's and a cold face. And I thought someone understood me but they wanted all the help they could get and when I failed to meet the Love-Bar that had been raised by the new arrivals I was terminated like an ant. So now I just talk in a bunch of run-on sentences and never know whether to think they were right or I'm honestly the kind of person who deserves this. It's not in me to level, I'll leave that to the next victim. But I sure wish I had a mind to be as accusing as someone who has the audacity enough to tell someone, who they call insecure, a bunch of things that would make them feel bad about themselves and completely with that in mind. This was so you could justify any sort of stupidity you felt in the moment. Don't be so sure you're right all the time. I know I'm not. I'll never throw away a friendship.....I still haven't and I never will. But there's a big check above my head that says REALITY now....I know, because I know you better than anyone, you haven't received that yet......your heart and a couple hand-picked others are gonna need some more battering before you accept that.....And don't worry, I know this upsets you. And that's fine, I knew you never respected my words anyways. I saw that everyday. You put yourself above a lot of people. But for now you're fine and you feel real strong right now knowing you've got others agreeing for a while that I was in foul. And I support that. Because "friends" are important....and i've never thrown one away 1 golden shower| pee on me

SO poetic [26 Dec 2003|01:38pm] NewYorkNewYorkNewYorkNewYorkNewYorkNewYork NewYorkNewYorkNewYorkNewYorkNewYorkNewYork NewYorkNewYorkNewYorkNewYorkNewYorkNewYork NewYorkNewYorkNewYorkNewYorkNewYorkNewYork NewYorkNewYorkNewYorkNewYorkNewYorkNewYork NewYorkNewYorkNewYorkNewYorkNewYorkNewYork NewYorkNewYorkNewYorkNewYorkNewYorkNewYork NewYorkNewYorkNewYorkNewYorkNewYorkNewYork NewYorkNewYorkNewYorkNewYorkNewYorkNewYork NewYorkNewYorkNewYorkNewYorkNewYorkNewYork NewYorkNewYorkNewYorkNewYorkNewYorkNewYork NewYorkNewYorkNewYorkNewYorkNewYorkNewYork NewYorkNewYorkNewYorkNewYorkNewYorkNewYork NewYorkNewYorkNewYorkNewYorkNewYorkNewYork NewYorkNewYorkNewYorkNewYorkNewYorkNewYork NewYorkNewYorkNewYorkNewYorkNewYorkNewYork NewYorkNewYorkNewYorkNewYorkNewYorkNewYork NewYorkNewYorkNewYorkNewYorkNewYorkNewYork ............... That's where I am...... Come play.... We're sick of L.A..... Everyone's a hypocrite over this way.... But I'll be back.... Reluctanly.... Don't miss me..... 3 golden showers| pee on me

[22 Dec 2003|02:55am] relieve the the wound seems I don't need it but keep a scar So we don't forget it virus of sorts don't treat it as so knowing the truth will never make them go pee on me

Really Hate Using Love [22 Dec 2003|02:38am] Final letter To discuss The ways I loved you And how much A tragic end Through love's misguidance Thats how I'v chosen To coin this Everyday's Another waisted Till wrongs are right And we're not apart Another night Colored tears Fell in hands there Stained the sheets Dirtied hair Relive a past Dwell by way of false Never leave a space For someone else Everyday's Another waisted Till wrongs are right We're not apart another night Given a chance One might view Supposed depth Cold and blue Just meant more Without a circle No doubt in a line Stay straight a little pee on me

A sickly day [20 Dec 2003|10:55pm] One too many times I'm not feeling any different Please see a good-thing Don't see a gloomy past And, when you remember a smile Don't let it linger too long Lets walk away and hope This will prove easier How long, can despair last? I accept that it may never and take that chance Pausing adoration Then again it's just a thought Invested far too much Too little is left Bring back our beginning So-long as theres no end I'm wrapping the pain Smile against no reason And I can't even feel Doesn't mean I won't try pee on me

[13 Dec 2003|10:33pm] .....and so, you've been permanently demoted pee on me

[08 Dec 2003|01:10am] lately i've been thinking that I give too much To people taking for sport Lately I've been cutting my ties and losses And finally getting support And even though I've walked away from the hurt I'm still running in my dreams Lately I've learned myself enough to know that Being needed is my need 1 golden shower| pee on me

[05 Dec 2003|11:00pm] Everything built to a fear Assuming all trust disappeared I wake to find YOU trust me And know I must be lucky 1 golden shower| pee on me

[05 Dec 2003|10:55pm] You may mean more Than I'm willing to attempt But if you're nothing Should I go see what's next Wash off your hands But, trash up your soul Rendezvous can mean delight But, soon grow very old Could you mean a lot? But, mean nothing at all? Confused how I feel I have no control Brief moments of bliss Where all feels so right I don't want to leave here But with morning I might pee on me

[05 Dec 2003|10:45pm] All this chiseled pain resides in my heart And the more that I think, the more it grows sharp All these gardens of untruth being planted With every bloom I am taken for granted pee on me

[05 Dec 2003|10:40pm] You never used the values of a heart that was yours Love when you're lonely, but, damnit I deserve more Trust that I'm taking my heart back from your reach Lie like a liquid till floor boards finally leak You had no foundation so you fell to the ground You knew karma would circulate, its my time around Too many hearts got drained in your path Know that this mob has accumulated An unhealthy amount of mass pee on me

[05 Dec 2003|10:40pm] She's more than a smile Her grief holds her down We were all in denial Thinking she'd come around pee on me

[05 Dec 2003|10:35pm] She has this feeling a top of her nose It's not really there But, she's scared and it shows Fidgeting through all of lives simple tests She stall till the clock dies and there's nothing left What's to be said of a girl so afraid She need's to be nurtured before it's too late When she's in the bathroom there's no one around And cries at the evil as it cycles round She leaves with a cluster of thoughts in her head Her burdens are not light they may leave her dead Covering all of her imperfections What she's told herself has become infection pee on me

[05 Dec 2003|10:33pm] It's more than me But i'll say I can handle it There is no "we" Just me controlling fits The battles mine A part of me must die before I win I must resign the treasures of my life Before a new one can begin pee on me

[05 Dec 2003|10:28pm] How many faces, Have graced this mirror? Swore by our past, But I swore out of fear Each time our fingers locked I thought that they might break I hope for outs From every promise I make I want to promise That this was not done by me There's evidence in recovery But recovery was left in a dreams Most often I deal The ways that have become routine But, after-wards the pain is there And, no slates have been wiped clean pee on me

[05 Dec 2003|10:24pm] Do you need it? Cause to me it seems That you forgot your dreams So that you could amplify a feeling It's not worth this And, it's truly sad That dreams are all we have And the feeling meant nothing Did you get it? Bittersweet words Left on your machine Waiting for some sort of reply I can't help it Because I know How far this evil goes No more dreams can die pee on me

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